with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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