I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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