Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
