How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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