I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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