I just threw up on my dentist
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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