just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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