yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
