I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
