Can Purell be used as lube?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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