i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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