u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
