Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
