booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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