A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
