Got a toothbrush?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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