Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
