you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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