I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
