Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
