YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
