I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
