dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
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