A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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