I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
