she was so not down for the gang bang
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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