I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
