in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
