She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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