Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
