Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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