She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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