Porn is love you can see.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
