O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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