there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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