Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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