Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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