Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
