weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
