out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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