What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
