i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
