There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
