My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
