that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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