The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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