Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you inspire me to be a worse person
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
