I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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