Kareoke will never be a sober sport
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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