He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
